2012...

what do you know? some very interesting stuff about what could happen... google it... the end of mankind as we know it? definitely interesting...

deep breaths...

"aahh"
"fu...ck"
"i can't..."
"i... ahh... i know..."
"you are so... i feel so..."
"ha ha..."
"i'm... fucking... dripping..."
"i... ahh... can't believe..."
"that... was amazing..."
"that's the first... time i've ever..."
"i know... i can't move... i'm trembling..."
"i feel like... i'm glowing..."
"ha... ahh... ha..."
"we... have to... do this more often..."
"sure..."
"next time... we should run ten miles..."

bastards...

well... had a crazy last few days. not sure which dimensions i was in, but it was all strangely beautiful... i guess all beauty is strange really? that is why it is strange - it's different and fresh. there is such a lack of true beauty... i've spent a lot of time with a few people, or actually very little time, with a lot of 'beautiful' people that i haven't seen for a long time over the last few days. it has been physically draining, but emotionally strengthening. it's amusing the concept of friends... i love them all so dearly individually, but it's more than that. it's a group of adventurers that you trust their opinions and beliefs completely, and even when you don't, you love them enough to listen to their bullshit. (you all know where you fit into this...) i digress... it's the fact that we all go away and learn new tricks, find out cool and amazing things, meet crazy other adventurers, fuck up, fuck up, fuck up... and then we meet up and trade all of these experiences with each other over a few pints, and laugh, and cry, and laugh some more... it's always such a crazy time when a group of you meet up, and you always end up seeing the sunrise, but it's the fact that you have soo much to fit into these little windows of togetherness. another amazing thing, forgetting what i've just said about trading experiences, is that essentially it's about those little 5-10 minute chats that you have with EVERYONE when words are irrelevant. it purely about basking in the presence of these select few that you LOVE dearly, and literally enjoying each other's energy... i know i'm contradictory, but at least i know it... it's a constant struggle to know what you think... i have NO fucking clue most of the time... anyway, i love all of you - well most of you(again, you know where you fit in...) even though you are all bastards... but i guess you love what you know, and i know what i am...

so i jumped...

So I jumped… Fear, exhilaration, smile, tears... Falling gracefully; or it felt graceful anyway… It’s a strange sensation falling. It feels like eternity as you stare into the horizon. Wind whistling past your ears… weightlessness… utter freedom… That’s why I jumped. That’s why I always jumped. For those few seconds of bliss…Normal procedure was to drive out to the lakes. Floating sluggishly in the car down the snakelike summer parched roads. Even the music struggled to float thru the energy sapping heat…the heat beat everything into submission. We would park at the bottom of the daunting rocky hill and began the draining climb to the top. We ducked and dived through the dense foliage until we arrived at our concrete tightrope…the dam. We took a few seconds to admire the view before limberly dancing across the top in anticipation of diving into that cool blue lake. So, I took a deep breath, smiled, and jumped. Ah, weightlessness again… Falling, falling, falling, plunge, still falling, slowing, slowing. I looked up to see the light reflecting on the surface and suddenly I realised that I don’t normally get this view for this long. I attempt to kick to begin my ascent when I realise that I can’t move. Frantically, reaching for the sunlight, I lose control and scream. I watch the pockets of valuable oxygen slide through my fingers. Unable to break free I begin contemplating the worst. I feel as though I have been down there for hours! Oxygen is running out! Brain being starved! Eyes going hazy! Giving up hope! Plunge! I feel myself being pulled upwards! Rising, rising, rising! Air!